Is Being PERFECT a Good Thing?

Is Being PERFECT a Good Thing?

By: Rifka Schonfeld, Director S.O.S (Strategies for Optimum Success)

Q: I always try to be perfect. I wish it was easier for me, but I can’t really help it. So, can I just embrace it? Is that really a bad thing?

A: Some experts argue that perfectionism develops during childhood. Many different pressures: family, social, self, media, and unrealistic role models combine to push some people to a lifetime of worrying, feeling guilty, and working too hard. Often these feelings of guilt are tied up in self-esteem and self-worth. Perfectionists start to believe that unless they are perfect, they are unworthy of love and respect.

There’s nothing wrong with trying your best. In fact, giving it your best shot is what you should attempt to do everyday; however, your sense of self should not be shattered if your best shot ends in less than perfect results. Insisting on perfection can lead to doomed results for both you and your family.


An acclaimed educator and social skills ​specialist​, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools.   In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness.  She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at You can view the web at


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